Play is fun and vital to children’s healthy development; it has enormous psychological benefits. Children learn and practice critical social, physical, and emotional skills during play, including problem-solving, creativity and imagination. The benefits of play are progressive, and children’s skills develop during games and activities that build upon each other.

Most children have an innate sense of joy, playfulness, sense of adventure, and enthusiasm. Children’s pleasure and sheer exhilaration of ‘letting go’ and being in the moment are essential for growing confidence in their abilities and curiosity about the world. We often hear about being in the moment, the flow or zone. But what does this mean? Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a Hungarian- American Psychologist, explained the flow as a mental state of concentration and engagement. It is a mental state in which the child is experiencing an activity and is fully immersed in a feeling of involvement, focus, and enjoyment. Engagement in the ‘flow effect’ can assist in self-regulation and de-escalating anxious feelings. Play is the perfect example of the ‘flow effect’, which increases happiness and task engagement. Engaging children and adolescents in developmentally appropriate play activities and experiences assist them in growing positive mental health and resilience mindsets.

However, what happens when your family or child feels overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious? As parents, we often find ourselves self-doubting our parenting abilities, and we ask, am I doing this right, and am I a good parent. These feelings are normal and understandable, and most parents have these thoughts.

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Challenges and distress look different for all families; they are as individual as you and your family. Parenting can be challenging and demanding, let alone during a pandemic or in stressful environments. We all want the best for our families and children, but what happens when we feel anxious?

Anxiety is our body’s natural response to stress. It is a feeling of apprehension, worry, nervousness, unease, and fear about an unknown outcome. Some stress is beneficial as it presents opportunities for personal growth and a growth mindset. Such as; delivering a speech, a child’s first day at school or high school, learning a new skill, going for a job interview, and environmental stressors may cause most people to feel worried, nervous, and fearful. The goal of understanding our body’s natural response to anxiety is not to eliminate stress and anxiety but to assist a child in recognising and managing them. But how do we do that?

Using a structured problem-solving technique may help your child reframe their worries, nervousness, apprehension, and fear. Acknowledging the difficulties they are having is the first step. Select a small problem rather than try and solve multiple issues. Use pen and paper or another medium your child likes, such as textas, paint, chalk, and chalkboard. List all the possible solutions you can think of and brainstorm your ideas. Work out the positive and negative answers to each proposed idea and then choose one. Using a structured problem-solving technique assists a child in moving from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. By managing anxiety, we help children in building resilience and solution-focused problem-solving. If your child is younger, using play scenarios is ideal; puppets, trains, dinosaurs or soft toys are the perfect tools to talk through the problem.

Building stress resilience routines and activities within your family will benefit everyone. Listen to music, sing, hum, garden, dance, practice yoga and mindfulness, use breathing techniques, swim, catch up with friends, and go for a bushwalk. We all have preferences for different types of activities and have different learning styles. Exploring what is the suitable activity for you and your child is the fun part! Activities that feel right for you are the perfect starting point.

It is often the simple things we need at stressful times, such as; spending time together, hugs, drawing, talking with friends, practising gratitude, going for a nature walk, a walk on the beach, building sandcastles, taking time to notice nature’s beautiful gifts, and remembering adults need to play and have fun too!

 

References and further reading:

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The psychology of optimal experience. New York: Harper & Row.

Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The new psychology of success. New York: Random House.